Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Personal Ad Using an Unrecommended Word


We don't have a word for the opposite of loneliness. - 23 (SW pdx)


Date: 2012-06-06, 10:58PM PDT

Ill be 24 this December. It's quite lonely living by yourself, even when you have 2 dogs and a kitten as I myself do. I moved here 8 months ago and I am not very good at meeting people, boys in particular minus the ones that only want to dive into my pants.

I just quit smoking cigarettes and I don't drink hard A, only beer and not even too much at that. I obviously love animals since I keep a small zoo at my 1 bedroom apt lol.

I am always in and out of college, don't know if I'll ever finish. School has never really been my thing. Family is of utmost importance to me. I also Love children although i have none of my own.I have a rather large balcony garden. I don't drink coffee it gives me a stomachache. I am a meat eater. I bike or bus everywhere. Yes I ride a fixed gear.

I am told I am quite beautiful although beauty is completely in the eye of the beholder. I am modified. Meaning I have big floppy ears and a lot of (meaningful not trashy) tattoos. I also have dreadlocks. They are quite nice in my opinion. I am 5'7 and 125# So if any of that bothers you then please don't waste my time. Oh and just because i have tattoos doesn't make it some kind of requirement that you do. Just wanted to put that out there.

So..you...23-29?? More like 25-27? Someone sensitive but confident in themselves. Someone who reads books and has useful tidbits of information that can be surprising or funny stored in their brain. Maybe someone who writes or plays an instrument (i play a few, cello is my favorite). Maybe you ride a bike too (and aren't a douchebag about it). Great smiles are a plus. I'm not Super into this whole Portland facial hair thing but I take it on a case by case basis. Someone who's not afraid to sing out loud. Good in the sack and knows it (but again not an showoff about it). STD free. Self sufficiency is a must. I have spent years taking care of others instead of myself and I'm not looking to backtrack. We are all a little bit broken inside but I don't have the time or energy to spend on someone completely shattered. Tall and lanky. Or just tall. Huge muscles were never for me, sorry. Don't be spoiled or self entitled-it's the two traits I cannot stand in human beings.

I work a full time job at an obnoxiously popular place here in ptown. Oh, I'm a Sagittarius. I don't have tons of time but the spare time I do have..well it'd be nice to have someone to spend it with.

I guess email me if any of this sounds intriguing? Your pic gets mine. Enjoy your evening and happy hunting.
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This ad reveals too much information actually: in and out of college and unsure if she'll ever finish; coffee gives her stomachaches; she has big, floppy ears; etc. I find her writing style to be quite rambling, and based on her claim of being in and out of college, her ad gives me the impression that she's kind of flaky or spacey. Not a good quality to have for a stable relationship.

I've read in some advice columns that when writing a personal ad, using the word "lonely" is a major no-no because it gives the reader the impression that the person is needy and unable to function alone. Even if a person is lonely (we all experience moments of loneliness), it's not something that needs to be said in an ad. To me, it's a "red flag word". Interesting for me, BYU cured me of "loneliness." As a non-Mormon, my years at BYU were the loneliest years of my life. Even the Universe seemed to acknowledge this, because a popular song on the radio during my first semester was Boyz II Men's "4 Seasons of Loneliness" and a popular song on the radio during my last semester two years later was Backstreet Boys' "Show Me The Meaning of Being Lonely." BYU definitely showed me the meaning of being lonely! It's the inability to connect with another human being at a deep level of being. This happens a lot in our shallow, superficial society. Is loneliness a problem in tribal culture? I've read that loneliness is a much bigger problem in Western societies and especially in the United States, where individualism is promoted as the ideal. Individualism in the sense of "I don't need you, I don't need anyone."

Based on her ad title, what would be the opposite word for loneliness? I'd probably use words like "invested" or "connected." For me, I never feel "lonely" when I'm alone. I feel it more when I'm in a social gathering and trying to find someone to talk to and the feeling becomes heightened if the person I make the attempt to talk to actually excuses herself from the conversation. So, what is loneliness? Why do I never feel it when I'm alone but always feel it when I'm alone in a crowded room full of strangers?

This lady is young and has plenty of time to find the answer for herself. Based on her ad, she does not seem to know what she wants. She even wrote a contradictory message. In the first paragraph, she complains about meeting only men who want to "dive in her pants." Later on, she mentions wanting a guy who is "good in the sack and knows it (but not a showoff about it)." What does that mean, anyway? Like I said, the girl is young. She'll figure it out someday. Or not. She asks for email if anyone finds her ad "intriguing." Well, I don't. She sounds boring and wishy-washy to me. Not that I would respond to her ad anyway. The age gap is too wide, which means a huge life experience and possibly intellect gap. And like many other ads, she mentioned wanting a "tall and lanky" guy..."or just tall." Even though she's 5'7". It's the high heels, am I right? The reason women want a tall man is so that she can wear high heels and still not tower over her man. Well, that would be silly, because I've heard many women complain about how uncomfortable high heels are to wear (it bends the feet in such an unnatural way and keeps the feet in that position for however long the shoes are worn). Why wear them? Weren't the invented in the first place so that short women could be closer in height to their men? If one doesn't have to wear high heels, why do it?

1 comment:

Trish and Rob MacGregor said...

Wow, how weird. Her ad is just plain weird, sansego. There's the opening to your novel.