Tired of the Jerks and Losers - 37 (Outer SE Portland)
Date: 2012-06-26, 9:35PM PDT
PLEASE READ THIS ALL THE WAY THROUGH!! This is kind of new for me, but here it goes... FIRST OFF, LET ME SAY... NO ONE NIGHT STANDS!!! >:[ I'm a 37 year old single mom of 4. Yes 4. No little ones but they do all live with me. So does my mom. She is my babysitter and general live in help. I have alot of free time thanks to her and I'd like to find a partner to share life with. I've been through a lot and am tired of weeding through all these jerks in hopes of finding the right guy. I'm looking for someone around my age who is stable and 420 friendly. Preferably slightly good looking, very passionate and romantic. That's a deal breaker for me... ;) Must be non-judgmental.. I'm not working right now so I have plenty of time to get to know the right person. I'm slightly overweight but wear it well. (mostly in my boobs) I'm doing pretty well losing the few extra pounds I have but some extra activity couldn't hurt. ;) Send me a pic and a little about yourself and I will send one back if I'm interested. ALSO to make sure you are a real person please put the word HELLO in the title of your reply. I'd love to text for a while and then maybe meet in person this weekend if we click.
What's wrong with this ad? Plenty!
First, her ad title focuses on the negative and what she doesn't want. In my 6 year study and understanding of the Universal Law of Attraction, you actually attract what you put your focus on, so if you send a signal that you don't want "jerks and losers", what are you going to attract into your life experience? That's right! More jerks and losers.
But who's the "loser" here? This woman has four children and says that her mother lives with her and provides free child care (or is reality more like she lives with her mother? What an awful burden to put on one's mother. Your parents want to enjoy their grandchildren...not raise them!).
Next, she wants a guy who is open about using "420" (marijuana). Maybe that's one clue why she seems to attract "jerks and losers". What kind of influence is that for her children? A man sitting around smoking marijuana doesn't sound like a winner in terms of being a step-parent. Sounds more like a slacker to me.
Her condition is that she wants a guy who is "slightly good looking", and yet admits that she is overweight (but working on it, which seems to be the common excuse that BBWs seem to put in their ads). When I read an ad like this, I wonder if the person who wrote the ad has any self awareness.
Here's a clue about male psychology. Most males do not want an "instant family." While having one young child from a previous marriage might not be a deal breaker, any time you have more than two (I mean, FOUR?!?), it's going to limit your options. You can probably figure that for each child you have, you can cut down your pool of interested men by 50% at a very minimum. A man who has no problem jumping into a relationship with a woman with four children is either a saint (and likely not going to be a super-handsome or "hot" guy that this woman seems to be wanting) or a potential pederast. It's something she needs to be aware about, which she apparently seems not to be.
When I read such an ad, I wonder if she had four children by one man or by different men. If they all have the same father, than that father needs to be shamed. I consider it to be the worst form of douchebaggery for a man to abandon the woman who gave him three or more children, because it makes it difficult for her to find another man. That's just the way it goes. If the children have different fathers, then the woman has serious problems. She keeps hooking up with men who don't stay and really should not be having children.
If I were to give a grade to this ad, it would get a big, fat F. Epic fail. There is nothing appealing about a woman who uses her own mother for day care and maid service so she can have "a lot of free time." If you were reckless and had four children by different men, you don't deserve a lot of free time. You're a mother, so own up to it and stop using your mother as a live in nanny and maid. She earned the right to not have to raise children after a certain age. The role of grandparent is to enjoy their grandchildren without having to deal with the discipline or the constant care. It's the parent's responsibility to raise the child(ren).
I'm not surprised that this lady attracts "jerks and losers." It sounds to me like she is a perfect match for the type she attracts. If she wants a better quality of man, the first thing she should do is to assume responsibility for raising her four children and give her mother a break. It's the very least she can do.