Wednesday, May 23, 2012

More Fun With Personal Ads

In the latest installment of analyzing personal ads on Craigslist, here's an interesting one:

I've been out of the game for a little over a year, by choice!! But if you've ever gone celebate then you can understand the frustration that can come from pent up "energy". I want a man that wants a women with meat on her bones, but will also be attracted to a little less meat on her bones. My weight fluxuates. Im a chic. I go on diets. I get off diets. I want a guy that has a bigger bone structure than me but not obese.Im aware that starting my query with physical aspects makes me shallow but I want to be "physically" attracted to the man Im with. This next statement is probably not surprising. I want a guy thats a nice asshole, which sounds weird. I did not just say I want a guy with a nice asshole!! What I mean is someone who is kind of a dick. Someone who can be sarcastic, somewhat vulgar, mischevious, strong willed, and protective. On the other hand lets not forget being sweet, opening doors, well shivalry and mannors when needed. Dorkiness is a plus.

Because sex is a big aspect of intimate realationships: Sexually I need a little kink. I haven't been open with my sexuality in the past but after this year of abstenance I've realized that "normal" sex is boring to me. I need a guy that can be open and unashamed to explore new horizones. Im not looking to email back and forth forever. So pic for pic and lets meet up soon. If you want to email a quick description of a fantasy you want to try, that would be interesting. In the subject line put something funny.
Okay. Scary! This ad has ZERO appeal to me. The reason why I wanted to feature it in my series of analyzing personal ads is because of the absurdity of her request. She wrote that she wants a guy who is a "nice asshole." Wow. Really? She wants a guy who is "kind of a dick." Sounds like she's addicted to the drama. I get it though. Nice guys are "boring" while unpredictable bad boys are exciting. Particularly to women who love the intense drama of a dysfunctional relationship. What I wonder about is how she finds a balance in some guy. What does he have to do on a first date to show that he is both a nice guy and an asshole? And isn't such quality considered "passive aggressive"? You know, like being a demanding jerk to a waiter or waitress, but leaving a nice tip.

Besides her lack of spelling ability, she sounds like someone who would make relationships a complete hell. And her sexual demands are outrageous. "Normal sex" is "boring" to her? I wonder what she means by "normal". I bet she's a dominatrix type or a complete nympho. Its rare to find a personal ad that is so explicit regarding sex. Most women who post ads seem to post a comment stating that they don't want any nude pictures or rude and sexual comments in the response. That's understandable. But I hope this strange lady gets all the freaky responses that her ad deserves.

I also wonder if her weight fluctuations is an indication of her overall instability. She does sound a bit psychologically unstable. You know, the kind of psychotic woman who would go all "Fatal Attraction" on you when you break it off. But none of that matters to me, because this ad has nothing appealing that would make me respond. When I read an ad like this, my thinking is that this woman has some serious issues that she's not dealing with and would not be good for a relationship.

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