Friday, April 27, 2012

Getting Personal About Ads

Keeping with my series on analyzing a random personal ad that I find on Craigslist, here's an interesting one.
Do you LOVE soccer? - 32 (SE)

I am not into sports, I'm rather quite adverse to watching anything physical. You might be wondering why I'm looking for someone into soccer?? Well, I am going to school to earn my masters degree. On top of work, school and my daughter, I am stretched for free time. I looked it up, and the soccer season lasts until close to my graduation day! Yay for both of us. You can watch your uninterrupted games, go out with your guy friends, and I have time to study. What a deal, right?

Only other thing is you must be smart, and taller than me, 5'9", smell good, no drugs. I drink socially ;)

Some company is good, but please no recent breakups. I am not a good rebound girlfriend. I don't want to hear woeful stories of how she did you wrong.

*on a side note... No weird sex stuff (switching partners, wearing diapers), can't buy my love, and I'm not going to be the women to move in and starting watching your hoard of children, or do your dishes, or do your laundry. Basically a guy who can take care of them self.

I'd actually respond to an ad like this. A woman that doesn't like sports? Winner! However, I don't meet her height requirement (in many ads, I find it interesting that even women who call themselves "BBW" have height requirements on a man that they are seeking relationships with yet want the man to be understanding of their "weight issues." Um, you can always lose the weight but people can't make themselves grow any taller).

What I find interesting about this ad is that the woman is in grad school and wants a relationship NOW, but not such an intrusive relationship to distract from her studies, so her solution is to date a soccer fan so he can be occupied by watching soccer all spring so as to not distract her from her last semester in grad school. Really? Why not wait until the summer to seek a relationship? What about dating a guy who is not into sports, but who has his own hobbies and interests to occupy his time? I totally understand not wanting to be smothered by another person's neediness and to give people some space / alone time. I could totally date a career woman or someone busy in grad school. I think I would be supportive without being needy for attention, because I have a lot of personal projects of my own. It doesn't have to be a soccer fan.

It's interesting when women put in disclaimers, such as not wanting any "weird sex stuff" or x-rated photos. I'm surprised that there are men who actually respond to women's ads in the most crude manner. Based on the numerous ads I've read where women have such a disclaimer, it seems to happen too often for many women. It's the downside of putting an out there. So, if these types of responses get screened out, why don't they respond back to the nice responses? The ones that are intelligent responses?

Because I did not meet her height requirement (and partly because she has a child), I did not respond to this ad. It wasn't bad, but a woman should understand that not all men are obsessed with sports. Wanting a guy who loves soccer just so she can focus on finishing up her grad degree means that she might miss out on all the guys who have busy lives and interests that won't interfere with her goals. And if she gets into a relationship with a soccer fanatic now, what's she going to do next year when the guy is still obsessed with soccer and she doesn't want require any distractions from a relationship?

2 comments:

Trish and Rob MacGregor said...

I think there's an interesting fictional take on this post, Sansego, and that you should write it!

Sansego said...

Thanks for the suggestion. I do want to write a novel that focuses on the superficiality of dating, but I'm not seeing what you're seeing regarding this potential story. You're published writers. If you really have a story idea, run with it! If you don't want to write it, then please tell me more details that you think would make an interesting story. I'm interested. And flattered that published writers believe that I have the ability to write it!