This evening, I finished reading When God Winks on Love, which I bought this past Friday. In keeping with my Theme for the Year 2011 (Facing Forty Through Love and Literature), I wanted to read an inspiring book about people who have found the person they were meant to marry. My interest in synchronicities and coincidences has increased in the past year and a half. Last summer, I named it "The Summer of SynchroNICKity", as I read a great book on Synchronicity (The 7 Secrets of Synchronicity). I don't recall experiencing any major synchronicities, though. My goal was to find a job through synchronicity or Universal Law of Attraction. I was getting restless in my never-ending search for a new job to escape the worst place I've ever worked. Its amazing how things change. Today, as I left work and went to the World Affairs Council - Young Professionals Discussion Group and then waiting for the bus ride back home, I felt so happy and satisfied with my life. Truly contented. This feeling has been with me since the beginning of October, when I no longer worked in the place I hated for so long. I feel blessed. It just feels incredible to be able to work in peace in my cubicle, listening to great music, and not have to deal with other people's negative energy or dysfunctions.
At lunch, someone mentioned a co-worker who called in sick today because of something she ate. He remarked how odd it was that she had food phobias and was careful about what she ate so she wouldn't get sick, but she often got sick from what she ate! As soon as he said that, I said, "That's Universal Law of Attraction right there!" He wanted to know what I meant. I told him, "what you focus on, you actually invite into your life experience." He kind of jokingly refuted that by asking, "So how come when I go fishing and focus only on the fish, I come away empty handed?" Ha! I love his sense of humour. I can't explain how it works nor will I make the claim that it works for every single thing. But in the past few years, I've seen too many examples of things manifesting in people's experiences (and my own) that makes this theory credible to me. In the past couple of weeks, the troubled young church member who is anti-government had posted on his blog his latest run-in with the police. For someone who hates the cops, he sure "invites" them into his field of experience a lot. I don't deal with cops at all, because I don't spend any amount of time thinking about them. No government agent has harassed me, because I'm not spending my days obsessed with the government taking away my rights. Its interesting that the anti-government ranter would continuously have troubles with government officials. Also interesting that a lady who is paranoid about the food she eats getting sick a lot.
A couple of weeks ago, I finished reading a book called The Path of Synchronicity (by Dr. Allan G. Hunter). While it was good and informative, it wasn't what I hoped it would be. I wanted to read more personal examples of synchronicity experiences that people have. This is more about how to live life in a way that will increase the likelihood of synchronistic flow in your life. I certainly need more of that. Anyhow, the book left me wanting more, so I looked for other books on synchronity or coincidence that I have not read yet. Thus When God Winks On Love. I've gotten a few best friends through coincidence, so of course the lady I'm meant to marry, I hope we will meet by serendipity and have numerous coincidences between us. According to the author, SQuire Rushnell, everyone has a "Bashert", which is a Yiddish word for "intended one." The way he explained it, a Bashert is like a puzzle, in which the pieces fit together perfectly. When we try to make things fit with people who aren't our Bashert, it won't work out. Instead, we have to trust that there is someone out there who we are meant to be with, to fit together perfectly like two puzzle pieces.
The book gives plenty of examples of couples who came together through strange coincidences. This includes famous people like Denzel Washington, Robert Schuller, and Carol Channing, but most were not famous people. Some couples went through marriages with other people (after meeting their Bashert) before they got together. Some of the coincidences are so amazing that it naturally made me wonder what an atheist would think about them. How could any of these stories of amazing coincidences be dismissed as just a meaningless, but whimsical coincidence? My favourite example in this book was the story of Herman and Roma. Herman was a teenager in a Nazi concentration camp, who worried about starving to death. One day, he was walking next to the fence when he saw a young girl on the outside of the fence. He liked her smile. She would toss him an apple. Every day for seven months. When he learned that he was being transferred, on the final day, he told her that he would not be able to receive her apples anymore. That was that.
Years later, when he was in America, a couple would invite him over for dinner at their house. During one such dinner, the couple had also invited another guest. When the conversation turned to "what did you do in the war?", he told the other guest that he was in a concentration camp. The woman proceeded to tell him that when she was a girl, she threw an apple to a guy at a concentration camp. When they realized who the other was, it was like a soul recognition. They ended up getting married! After I read that, I felt a lump in my throat and I began crying. That is amazing. What are the odds? How could anyone dismiss that as "just a coincidence"? To me, these stories of coincidences / synchronicities prove that we live in a spiritually-directed universe, rather than a strict materialist universe.
Rushnell wrote that a "God-wink" (his term for coincidence) is simply confirmation that you are on the right path. Its not to be confused with a directional (as in, telling you how to proceed, for the choice is always yours on how to proceed). The book gives tips on how to discover "God-winks" in your own life. As I thought about it, I keep coming back to Jenet back in Washington, D.C. When I first met her, she and I had so many coincidences. To me, it felt like we were supposed to be together, but I didn't get the impression that she saw me as anything more than a friend. She was attracted to another guy, whom she ended up eloping with a couple years later. What I do know, though, is that she kept trying to talk me out of leaving D.C. in 2000. I listened to my parents instead of her, and I sometimes wonder if the reason why I have never found career success or a marriage partner is because I did not listen to her. Had I stayed, would I have eventually won her heart or would she still have married the guy she was interested in?
However, I'm not still interested in her. I consider her a good church friend, but I'm so far removed from those days in D.C. that it feels like it was all a hazy dream. As I pondered further, I thought of Christine. She and I did not have any coincidences between us. At least none that I can recall. Like Jenet, Christine fell for another guy and perhaps that was destined between them. I still value her friendship, for always. She showed me the quality I am most attracted to in a lady (kindness above all). So, with these amazing stories of couples finding one another through the power of "God-winks", I will approach this summer open to the possibility of meeting my Bashert. As soon as I receive my new debit card, I will pay for three months worth of Match.com (I've received a response to my personal ad that the dating website won't let me read until I pay). I look forward to a summer of dating. Yes, I will be looking for a new job in August again, but this year, dating is more important. What am I looking for? Well, I'm hoping to meet a quirky, petite lady who is reminiscent of French actress Audrey Tautou. I like that vibe, and I'm confident that there is a lady in Portland with similar traits looking for me. For once in my life, I'm really hoping that the psychic who told me that I would meet the lady I would marry by September of this year is right. I'm so ready to get on with the more important aspect of life: a committed relationship with my intended one.