Sunday, February 14, 2010

Does Anyone Know this Woman?

In honour of Valentine's Day, I thought I would write a post about the kind of lady I'm interested in meeting. To test my manifesting abilities, I'm spending the day working on a vision board specifically focused on the kind of woman I want to attract into my life.

First, a few things. On Wednesday, when I left the Bradbury / Dean rally, I waited for the nearby streetcar to bring me home. There was a gorgeous lady who caught my eye. She was talking to a guy, so I didn't approach her. This lady had a "unique look" that made me think that she might be Russian or Eastern European. We made eye contact a few times but I was trying to be discrete about it. My biggest problem, I think, is that I respect other guys so I would never go up and start flirting with his girl. I respect other people's relationships, and I know from experience that many guys are competitive and aren't above stealing away someone's girl. Anyhow, after boarding the streetcar, I noticed that this lady and guy weren't talking to one another. I also noticed that she was looking at me...our eyes would meet and then we'd both look away and then repeat the process. Crazy. I so wanted to talk to her. To get an idea of what she looks like, well...I thought about it and realized that she looks like one of the ladies from Bananarama (my favourite female singing group as a teenager...I was so in love with those British Banana ladies!). I would bet my hunches are right...that this lady was European. I hope our paths will cross again soon...with her alone so I can strike up a conversation.

For those who don't know Portland, there is a large community of Russian immigrants and I've been thinking more and more about how to get myself involved with this community so I can meet some of these gorgeous ladies. I've pretty much decided to give up on caucasian American women after striking out with Jenet and Christine and a few others this past decade. I want to be in a relationship with a lady who is either European (French and Italian are at the top of my list, though Russian or Scandinavian also works well for me), Hispanic, or African American (a Halle Berry, Rosario Dawson or Zoe Saldana type).

On Friday, our workplace shut down two hours early so that the staff could go to Central City Bowling (the coolest looking bowling alley I've ever been in!) for a party that some big wigs who are in charge of the finance of our organization decided to have in appreciation for our hard work in difficult times. I was hesitant about going because I just don't feel very social, especially after the stress and accusations last week (I was on Facebook at 2 p.m. on Tuesday! Oh the horrors! As if I'm the only employee on there during working hours). I told my supervisor that if management was looking for an excuse to fire me, they should go ahead and do it already. The day I walk out of there will be the happiest day in my life.

Like the good soldier, though, I went...mostly because I had been wanting to check out this bowling alley after hearing so many good things about it. Its quite a hip place for a city dweller like me. Forget the bland ones you might've seen in suburbia that are holdovers of the 1950s. This one is very hip. The building is an old warehouse, so the bowling alley and eating area / bar is done in a loft style. That's what I'm talking about. This place had my style down to a T. Hey, I can't help it if I have good taste and find suburbia to be boring and bland like a boloney (sp?) sandwich.

I'm actually glad that I went because its interesting to see the people I work with in a social setting once they've had a few drinks in them. That's right...we got complimentary drinks. I had two glasses of some California Merlot and I was feeling pretty good. I also learned a lot of interesting details about my co-workers regarding their marriages / divorces. One guy I never particularly liked before actually impressed me so I now have a new view of him (quite favourable). The other interesting details I learned was about the reasons behind two co-workers' divorces. One lady divorced her husband because he wasn't intellectual enough for her. She needed intellectual stimuli in her marriage. Dang! I've kind of had my eye on her for awhile now (parce que elle parle francais aussi!). One guy's marriage ended because his wife wanted children and he felt like he wasn't ready for it (he's 31 and his wife is 34 with a loudly ticking biological clock). When I heard these two morsels, I was stunned. And I was reminded just how different my thought process is...because I would NEVER marry anyone without knowing those kind of details up front. One guy in the young adult group has been dating a lady for months without knowing her religious views. I guess I'm just not wired that way. Compatability on the most fundamental issues is the first step in the process of laying down the foundations of a relationship. Maybe that's why I'm still single and these people are divorced.

The biggest shock of all was that after the event finished at 6 p.m., quite a few of them decided to go to a strip club that was across the street. They tried to get me to go. This once again brought up issues I had to deal with in the Navy when guys wanted me to go with them to whore houses, bars, and strip clubs when our ship pulled into a foreign port. When I'm not interested, my sexuality always comes under suspicion. Its the reason why I bonded with Mormon guys, because they lived their values and respected women enough to not desire to frequent these places that exploit women. There was one married guy whom I respected in the group, who I thought had a permission slip from his wife to go. However, after the group left the bowling alley, he and another guy were still sitting there. I said, "I thought you had a permission slip from your wife to go." He said, "Are you kidding me? She would be very upset if I went." Ah, that was good to hear, as I have always thought highly of him and his wife is beautiful, friendly, and cool. He doesn't want to ruin that relationship.

One lady called me a prude for not wanting to go. I was shocked. We all work for a conservative organization that just celebrated its one hundredth anniversary last week and what would the volunteers and children think if they knew that these recruiters and fundraisers were getting drunk and going to strip clubs after work? This hypocrisy and disconnect alarms me. Especially as most everyone is far more politically conservative than me. Oh the irony...the liberal lives the conservative family values while the conservatives partake in the wanton hedonism that they condemn liberals for. Another reason why I despise conservative people and their hypocrisy.

This brings to mind another long-running feuds with feminists. They don't like my honesty about gender differences and condemn me as a misogynist...while quite a few of them seem to fall for men who do these kinds of things (going to strip clubs). It kind of negates their argument. Don't hate me because I value women for their contribution to an intelligent debate and I won't just "shut up" and let them win an argument because its easier not to argue with a woman. Also, just because a man doesn't want to argue or debate with a woman does not automatically mean her views are right. If anyone wants to win an argument or points in an argument, their reasoning must be sound and convincing.

So...what does this mean for me? the cartoon picture of a lady shows above...I love women who are lean, with short hair, into some kind of spiritual practice (meditation, yoga, qi gong, tai chi), is intelligent and able of holding her own in a debate and not simply wanting a man to shut up and let her win, is kind of a Bohemian in her lifestyle as I am, loves ideas, loves to travel, has a great sense of humour and knows just the thing to make me laugh, and has the kind of experiences in life that matches mine. Is there a lady out there who has these qualities? I believe so...and I plan to begin my search in Portland's Russian immigrant community.

Happy Valentine's Day! Or for the jaded and cynical among us: Happy VD Day!