Monday, January 11, 2010
Music Video Monday: Mary J. Blige
This week's music video is Mary J. Blige's song "No More Drama", which samples the title tune of the long-running soap opera The Young and the Restless (my mom's favourite soap when she watched it back in the 1970s and 1980s). The reason why I've selected it this week is because of my supervisors ongoing drama.
Not a single month since I've worked here has gone by without some personal emergency interrupting her work. And it seems to occur during the week when a major project is underway and any distraction is not needed in order for us to make the deadline. Somehow, some way, she manages to have a personal or family crisis that requires her attention and takes her away from work.
She complains about how she does not need this emergency and how it has come at the worst possible moment, yet she feeds it with her enthusiastic re-telling of the drama to person after person. Because I have to sit there and listen to it, I've learned to distinguish her inner feelings based on the sound of her voice. I know what she sounds like when she's really upset, when she's really angry, when she's happy, and when she's excited. Here's the thing...she LOVES telling people about her personal dramas. LOVES it. Her energy is very alive and there is no stress in her voice. This is definitely a subconscious manipulation of her situation to bring about a personal crisis during an already stressful week (as last week most certainly was).
Last week, she got into a car accident on her way to work. The previous drama happened on the day before my birthday, when she couldn't get home because of the snow and ice thus had to find a motel near work to stay the night. The previous drama was her car dying on her (last week's car accident was in her son's truck). Its easy to look at these situations and say "things happen"...but because of the timing of such events and the way she loves telling person after person at work about her ongoing drama, I am 100% certain that she is subconsciously manipulating the events in her life. There is no logical reason why she should have so much drama in her life. My life (as well as most of my family members) is blissfully free of drama.
Whenever I try to bring up the issue of her subconscious manipulation of bringing dramas into her life, she denies it and says that there is no way she could create an accident or relatives dying. No...maybe it doesn't work that way, but it is possible that because her subconscious craves the attention she gets from others at work in the telling of her dramatic and disruptive emergencies, that it operates like a magnet, pulling her into situations where such incidents are likely to happen. After all, I've been a few close calls where an accident could have happened but didn't. I've also been in accidents. But when things happen to me, I usually don't share with other people my drama. I might tell a close friend or a relative, but I don't go into the kind of details that this lady loves to go into in her retelling of each drama in her life. Thus, I don't subconsciously invite a lot of emergencies in my life because my soul does not feed the drama and adrenaline of it. I actually hate drama and emergency crisis. My natural state is a state of calm serenity. When I'm around people with "chaotic energy" (such as the roommate I couldn't stand in D.C.), I don't feel very comfortable in their presence. I get antsy, myself and have to leave.
I know that there are people who live from crisis to crisis and they are addicted to it because it makes them feel useful and important. Usually, these people find my life to be "boring" because not a whole lot happens in my life. I live in a world of ideas and am fortunate to travel at least once a year, so I think the people who find me interesting do so because of the way I look at the world and how I think about things (as well as the places I've traveled to). I don't need the day to day drama that some others need to give their lives a sense of purpose. A couple years ago, when I saw a $5 psychic, I knew she was a phony when she said that she saw for my career an Emergency Management Technician (EMT). I don't do well in emergency situations where people are in mass panic and depending on me to get sucked into their emotional drama of the situation. I'm more likely to be calm in a situation and wanting people not to bug me with their demands. I actually get annoyed by other people's sense of urgency, so I'd only piss people off if I was an EMT.
Despite my supervisor's monthly dramas, she still comes nowhere near the DAILY drama of one guy I had to work with at my previous job in Atlanta. It did not take me long to dislike the guy because he had a family emergency EVERY damn day, which got in the way of performing his job and fell on me to pick up his slack. When other people's personal dramas affect my work load, I get pissed. I really wish people would do some major inner spiritual work and learn the reasons for their dramas. It really is a subconscious manipulation. I understand that there are times when a family emergency does occur. Things happen. When its a monthly, weekly, or even daily crisis, though, you can be sure its more than just events happening to someone. Its a manipulation of energy so the person can feed off the adrenaline rush as well as get the attention from others that their "pain-bodies" feel it needs.
Its sad to me that my supervisor is so thoroughly brainwashed by the LDS Church that she will not entertain any spiritual idea that does not originate from the General Authorities of her church. She claims that she just wants the drama to go away, but in the more than three years that I've known her, the drama is MONTHLY and never ending. All it takes to end the drama is for her to not tell everyone about what she just experienced with her latest episode. If she just kept it to herself, the dramas will eventually go away because her subconscious would no longer receive the attention it craves from others as she retells the event to person after person after person.
When I search online personal ads, I occasionally see one where the lady writes about not wanting the responder to have any personal dramas. Its not just something that I make up. Everyone probably knows a person who seems to have too much drama going on. And if you observe this person, you are guaranteed to see that the drama queen (or drama king) LOVES telling other people about the latest dramatic episode in their lives. They are validated by it, and their subconscious feeds off of it. These are people to run far away from because they lack the self-introspection required to put an end to the ongoing drama. A drama-free life is not a boring one. Many people are interesting without a need for drama to run their lives.
No more dramas!